Roller Derby, the new FRG.

The life of the military spouse is often riddled with good-byes.  From the initial good-bye to our spouses at basic or our families after we get orders to our first duty station. Later, it's the friends we come to see as family  and more often than any of us want to remember, it's saying our final good-byes to men and women who have come to our bar-b-ques, watched our kids, or helped us install bathroom tile.We spend much of our time relying on people who aren't our family and develop close relationships in short amounts of time.  This is necessary for survival in the military.  From combat to carpooling, getting to know and trust people quickly is imperative.  I've been thinking a lot about this paradigm lately. 
Where I'm from, in not-so-small town Philadelphia, PA, most people never leave.  They raise their families with their siblings or the girls they've known since kindergarten. They can call their Moms' to come babysit for an impromptu date night.  I have mixed feelings about this; The first feeling is jealousy.  I would give a vital organ to be able to live close to my siblings and parents.  That being said, I don't think they realize how many awesome people are out there that they haven't even met.  The Army affords me the opportunity to meet people I didn't think existed.  People who understand me, people who get what I'm going through, people who are literally able to handle anything life throws at them, and people who would do anything for me not because we share the same blood but because we're all fighting the same battle.  With getting to know these people comes the painful sting of having to say good-bye to even more family.  Moreover, knowing these people exist, makes you realize that we could all learn a thing or two about friendship.
We call ourselves sister wives, battle buddies, and deployment bffs.  We spend time helping raise each others' children, cooking meals, or cleaning out the garage for the pre-PCS yard sale.  Not even my Mom knows what a day in my life is like, but these women, they get it.  They get that I'm not resentful of my husband when he's gone, they get that I chose this, they also understand that sometimes I think it's not fair even if I talk a big game. 
I was very fortunate to meet my husband when he was already in the military.  It was a steep learning curve.  I didn't buy into the FRG (Family Readiness Group) business and my family was only an hour away, so how hard could it be, right?!  Wow, I would soon find out!  I was and am still terrible at making friends.  Luckily, our first venture into PCSing came with friends attached.  Those people, no matter where our lives take us, will always be close to my heart.  Our next PCS, also had friends but was a little more difficult even though closer to home.  However, our most recent was a ruder awakening.  Honestly, I don't know that I would have survived without finding roller derby.  Through roller derby, I found my FRG.  It's everything FRG should be, no rank, low drama, and fun!  But now the good-byes are getting more difficult. 
Since beginning roller derby, I've met so many women who were kind, smart, and tough.  They just wanted time away from the every day life of being moms, wives, and soldiers.  You bond with each other as a team and then as individuals and there's less cliques like you get with FRG,  It's not the officers vs. enlisted at derby.  We're women and we're all playing for the same team so no one cares that you're a Seargent Major or a PFC.  They do care about you as an individual and your family needs but they're not nosy or vindictive. 

Let's get back to the point, the Military introduces us, Roller Derby bonds us, and those experiences bind us forever.  So, I know no matter where I go, I have friends because I have the military and because I have roller derby.  But those women, who stood beside me, skated beside me, leaned on me, or lent me their shoulders, they will always be with me.  Without the Army, I wouldn't know what that meant.  So, Murph, Red, Wendy, Somer, Angie, Pain, Quarter, 4-Scar, all of you ladies and all the ones I miss and love, thank you for making the good-byes more difficult.